Since Christmas is just three days away, I figured I would share with my readers what Santa Johnny has wrapped up for some of today’s famous and infamous figures in the world of sports. Who has been good, who has been bad, who will be happy, and who will be sad?
Odell Beckham Jr. – I got him a lifetime invitation to the Pro Bowl and a month’s worth of lessons at the Arthur Murray Dance Academy so he doesn’t look so choreographed following spectacular touchdown receptions.
Unfortunately, I will have to return New York Football Giants head coach Ben McAdoo’s gift. He was set to receive a brand-new Radio Shack walkie-talkie set. It seems he already has them, and they cost him personally $50,000, and his team $150,000. Do you think they are gold plated?
New York Jets head coach, Todd Bowles, is a hard one to shop for, but I settled on a mirror. It is for someone to hold up to his face throughout any given game just to make sure he is still breathing. All kidding aside, the coach’s sideline demeanor is unlike any other NFL coach I can remember.
I have a couple of ideas for Jets defensive tackle, Sheldon Richardson. First I think he could use his own Snapchat account. Also, I think an alarm clock so as to make team meetings on time, if at all, and definitely a Garmin to locate the next quarterback he plays.
College football – for any bowl game not named the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, the PlayStation Fiesta Bowl, or the College Football Playoff National Championship, you are canceled immediately! You’re welcome college pigskin fans, an end to the nonsense.
Like most years, Duke men’s basketball coach, Mike Krzyzewski is easy to shop for. Since his roster is usually laden with multiple McDonald’s All-Americans (there are currently eight on the Blue Devil ledger, not including consensus #1 recruit Harry Giles). I chose a gift card for him at the Golden Arches.
Grayson Allen is one of Coach K’s Mickey D AA’s, and he is a really good player. He also has a well earned reputation as a really dirty one too. Following his trip of an Elon player Wednesday night (his third such infraction over the years), he was assessed a technical foul. His subsequent meltdown on the bench was over the top and hard to watch quite frankly. If Duke is not going to discipline him, then the ACC must. For Christmas this year I give Mr. Allen a five game suspension/time out to figure out how to play nice with others.
For some of the NBA’s star players who feel the need to take a night off during the “dreaded” back to back game scenarios, I have a My Pillow. Yes, the sleep aid (whose commercial runs ad nauseum) should help these grown men in the prime of their lives get the rest they need. After all, running around for 30 minutes in shorts and a tank top, two nights in a row, is rather taxing, don’t you think?
Welcome to Boston Chris Sale! Hanging in your new locker is as a vintage/throwback White Sox jersey. It is the perfect parting gift for your years of toiling on Chicago’s South side for the Chisox.
Speaking of the Red Sox, for David Ortiz I have a new pair of team affiliated Speedos for his afternoons sunning on the beautiful beaches of the Dominican Republic. Plus, just in case he gets an itch to come back and hit 30 more bombs and knock in another 100 runs, I had a new set of keys for his old locker at Fenway Park made up and stuffed in his stocking.
And so goes the holiday shopping edition of My 2 Sense. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.